27. Grief Doesn’t Mean Letting Go: Finding New Ways to Stay Connected
My Daughter Wants Me to Draw a Heart
No words, no colour, just a heart.
She doesn’t want it to be perfect, she just wants me to draw it.
Sadly, when you have experienced death there are certain things that become incredibly important, and for my daughter it’s a heart drawn by me.
There is no reason that I should want to hold onto a scrap bit of paper filled with scores from football matches that Paul played on his PS5. But those numbers are in his handwriting, and that scrap piece of paper is now sacred.
It’s a reminder of him, of his life that was so intertwined with mine.
And the reason why my daughter wants me to draw a heart is so that when I die (yes, this may sound morbid) she has something that I created. She wants to use it for a tattoo so that she has it permanently.
The Power of Handwriting and Memory
A year before Paul died we attended one of my best friend's weddings. Paul didn't drink, which was always very handy for me as it meant I had a permanent taxi driver. I, on the other hand, am quite partial to a glass of fizz, and on this occasion we are probably talking bottles rather than glasses.
The bride and groom asked everyone to write a note to them and seal it in an envelope to open on their one-year anniversary. In that note you had to share one good 'date' for them, and one piece of advice.
By the time Paul and I got round to writing the note it was decided that, due to the high levels of alcohol now in my bloodstream, it would be best if he wrote the note.
Our date idea was a laser quest session in the New Forest (something we had done the previous year and found to be so much fun). Our piece of advice was something that Paul always drilled into me…
“Always remember life is meant to be fun.”
Don't get me wrong, there are days when I really struggle with this, which is why I got a copy of the note and took his handwriting and had it tattooed on my arm. Whenever I struggle with life without him, I look at my arm and remember his words.
Living with Grief and Finding Comfort
Living the life that they would want you to live is not easy, and it takes strength to show up every day. Grief hurts like hell and there is a part of you that dies with them.
But seeing his handwriting brings him back to life. Through his writing I can hear his voice again. I visit a happy memory that we made together.
There is a strangeness to grief that allows you to cope, yet it feels like you are forgetting them each day. The fear that you forget them, then the guilt when you get through a couple of hours without thinking about them, these are real daily emotions when you’re grieving.
Grief has no cure, and time certainly doesn’t heal, but there are things that we can do that can bring comfort. That scrappy bit of paper, or that note that holds a memory, or a heart that symbolises a love between a mother and a daughter. These are precious items that can be preserved in different ways.
Discovering Inscripture: Memorial Jewellery with Meaning
In June 2026 I decided to attend the National Funeral Exhibition. Going as a widow I was nervous that it could be too much for my emotions, but going as a business I wanted to immerse myself in the industry.
I’ve attended exhibitions before, but this one was different. There was so much care in the room, people were kind and compassionate. Egos were left at the door because the customer that everyone had in common was grief, and you cannot outperform her.
There were ways to honour the deceased and ways to support the bereft, and as a widow it was pleasing to see how much thought went into every single product.
This is where I came across Inscripture. Jewellers who understand the importance of memories and keeping a loved one close.
Keeping Loved Ones Close Through Memorial Jewellery
A ring specifically made for you using your person’s ashes, or handwriting, becomes a beautiful way to keep them close to your heart. Whether you choose a ring, a bracelet or a necklace, it allows you to carry a part of them with you each day.
They see you move forward when you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, rather than move on. Knowing that they move forward with you brings a closeness that you can’t quite describe.
If I’m struggling with my grief, or am dealing with a stressful event, I will start unknowingly to twiddle with my ashes ring. I think in times of extreme stress, my brain knows which person I need reassurance from. As he is not available in a physical sense, I reach out to him spiritually, and touching the ring is my way to connect.
It’s not just ashes jewellery that Inscripture specialise in, they also create pieces with handwriting. There may be a keyring needed with all of Paul’s PlayStation football scores!
Why Inscripture’s Work Matters
What struck me most about Inscripture wasn’t just their jewellery, but the compassion behind it. Every piece they create carries a story, a heartbeat, a memory that deserves to be held close. It reminded me that grief isn’t about letting go, it’s about finding new ways to stay connected.
There’s something incredibly comforting about knowing that a small piece of handwriting, a fingerprint, or even a few ashes can be transformed into something you can wear every day. It’s not just jewellery, it’s a bridge between worlds, a quiet reminder that love doesn’t end.
I think that’s what makes companies like Inscripture so special. They understand that what they’re creating isn’t simply a product, it’s comfort. It’s a way for people like me, and my daughter, to hold onto the essence of someone we love in a way that feels tangible and deeply personal.
Create Your Own Memorial Keepsake
If you or someone you love would like to create something meaningful in memory of someone special, Inscripture have kindly given me a 10% discount to share with you - add LETTERSAFTERLOSS at the checkout. You can explore their beautiful collection here: Explore Inscripture.
Because grief may change us, but love always finds a way to stay close.
