I told 84,000 strangers how Paul died. Here’s what happened next.

Challenges that you put on yourself whilst grieving may not necessarily be a good thing, but there was one challenge I set myself at the beginning of March that I think is a good thing.

It was time to share Letters After Loss to the world with TikTok. I wanted to get 1000 followers by the end of March.

Whilst I’ve never been shy about getting in front of a camera to promote my pet care business, Letters After Loss was entirely different.

This is a personal project and my already fragile mind could not cope with any negativity against either me, Paul, or Letters After Loss.

Equally I knew that if Letters After Loss launched in the way that I hoped it would, I then had the responsibility of these widows. There is the potential that my empathetic heart would take on their grief too.

Paul would often say that if I had nothing to worry about, then I would find something to worry about. He was not wrong.

Eventually I decided to bury these worries and post.

We now have 11 days left of the month and I am at 460 followers after 6 videos.

But the video that changed everything was the video where I shared the story of taking Paul to hospital and never in a million years expecting to come home without him.

That video currently has 84,000 views, 3,000 likes and hundreds of comments.

84,000 strangers now know about Paul.

84,000 strangers know our story, the story that a year ago I was desperate to keep private because I didn’t want it to be true.

Hundreds of strangers took the time to comment.

All of that actually blows my mind.

One thing that Paul said when he was in hospital and he knew that time was running out, was that he didn’t want to be forgotten. I promised him that he never would. I think I can definitely say that I am keeping my promise.

The heartbreaking thing with the comments is that you suddenly realise how much loss there is. I shared how Paul died from oesophagus cancer and how from diagnosis to death it was 2 weeks. This same story of sudden death after diagnosis of the same cancer kept coming up again and again. The comments were beautiful yet so sad in equal messages.

Here are total strangers who have never met Paul (and sadly never will), don’t know me and have taken the time out of their grief to listen to our story and send love.

That is phenomenal.

Did I receive any negative comments?

I don’t know as TikTok has a Creator Care mode which I turned on meaning that it blocked any negative comments.

I also think if there had been any negativity then there would be an army of grieving people who would take them down in a nano second. Never underestimate someone who is grieving. They do often have a ‘no-shits’ to give approach to life.

My next video didn’t go viral, but I didn’t expect it to either. This is where I introduced Letters After Loss which didn't have quite the same emotive pull as a death story.

However this video did have one person enquiring about the pen pal membership and asking for the link, and four new sign ups to the waitlist. Which means there is one more person who now knows about Letters After Loss.

Do I regret taking so long to brave posting on TikTok? Not really. I knew when the time would be right and when the content I wanted to share would be shareable. Any sooner and I think it would have sounded forced.

I had posted a few videos on Facebook before, but even when I was creating them they didn’t feel 100% me.

Letters After Loss may be a business, but it is also therapy for me. Not just in the writing letters, but also in the building a business. That has given me a focus for me to put my grieving energy in to.

I don’t hide away from my grief when I’m constantly talking about it. In fact I think it helps me to process it all in a healthy and positive way.

So if you did see the TikTok video and you are wondering whether this is right for you or not then here are a few reasons why Letters After Loss might just be what you need.

Because it is for women just like you. They have also lost their spouse or partner, so you do not need to explain anything. They get it.

Because it creates friendships. The more you write to your pen pal the stronger the bond. You keep the same pen pal throughout.

Because it’s not just about writing and receiving letters, there is a community of women out there learning how to rebuild their life too. The life that they never wanted to rebuild.

Because there are monthly online events bringing you the opportunity to try new things. You don’t need your camera or microphone on to participate. Whether you fancy joining the online flower arranging class, or the online wine tasting it’s about trying new things without having to leave your living room or your comfort zone.

You never signed up for a future to be surrounded by grief, but it has happened, and together we can see that we are not alone on this path.

If you’re ready to pick up a pen, make new friends and start writing letters then we would love to welcome you to Letters After Loss.

Paul didn’t want to be forgotten, and it turns out the internet agreed!