Joining Letters After Loss is simple
From the moment you become a member, you'll begin receiving little moments of connection, creativity and something to look forward to throughout the month.
Here's what you can expect...
Step 1 Download the Letters After Loss app
Each month you'll find everything you need to know about the month's creative theme all in one place.
The current months theme
Writing prompts
Monthly event dates
Previous months creative themes
Whether you're looking for inspiration, a creative idea or simply a reminder that you're not walking this path alone, the app is always there for you.
Step 2 meet your pen pal
One of the most special parts of Letters After Loss is being matched with another woman who has also lost her spouse / partner.
Together you'll exchange handwritten letters once a month.
When you join you'll receive information on what to and what not to write about
Some letters might be full of memories.
Some about the everyday life.
You simply write honestly, knowing someone on the other end truly understands.
For your privacy, all letters are sent through our secure postal system, so your home address or full name is never shared.
Step 3 your monthly theme arrives
Every month is built around a meaningful theme designed to inspire connection, creativity and reflection.
At the beginning of the month your printed newsletter will arrive through your letterbox, introducing the month's theme and guiding you through everything coming up that month.
Inside you'll discover:
💛 An introduction to the monthly theme
✍️ Writing prompts for your pen pal letters
🎨 Guidance for this month's creative experience
📅 Dates for our online sessions
Step 4 join the monthly writing session
Once a month we meet online for a relaxed writing session.
Bring your favourite drink, settle into a comfortable chair and spend an hour writing alongside other members.
Cameras off or on is entirely up to you, the purpose of these sessions is to provide a dedicated time to write.
Chose to chat, or chose to sit quietly is entirely up to you.
Sometimes it's easier to write when you know you're not writing alone.
Step 5 enjoy the monthly theme
Each month we come together to enjoy the month's theme.
One month we might paint together.
Another month we might discuss a book.
We may enjoy a wellbeing activity, try a new craft or simply spend time creating together.
The focus is never on being artistic or "getting it right."
It's about giving yourself permission to pause, try something new and enjoy a gentle moment alongside people who understand.
What a month inside Letters After Loss looks like
📬 Week 1 - The monthly theme begins
Your printed newsletter arrives, introducing the month's theme and everything you need to take part.
You'll also receive your pen pal's latest letter, ready to enjoy with a cup of tea whenever the moment feels right.
✍️ Week 3 - We write letters together
Join the relaxed online letter-writing session.
Bring your favourite drink, settle into a cosy spot and spend an hour writing alongside other members.
There's never any pressure to chat, simply enjoy the quiet comfort of writing together.
🎨 Week 4 - We come online together to try the months experience
We'll come together online to enjoy this month's theme. These are very relaxed and very informal meet ups, a chance to chat and get to know each other.
Whether we're painting, discussing a book, trying something creative or sharing another themed experience, our live sessions are about spending time together, not being taught.
You've already explored the month's theme through your newsletter, so this is simply an opportunity to enjoy it alongside women who understand.
💌 End of Week 4 – Send your letter
When you're ready, pop your completed letter in the post to our secure PO Box address.
We'll forward it to your pen pal, keeping everyone's home address private while ensuring each letter reaches the right person.
ABOUT ME
I'm Caroline and this is my late partner Paul.
In March 2025, I lost Paul to cancer. Just three weeks earlier, we thought he had an infection. Instead, we were told it was oesophagus cancer, and there was nothing that could be done.
Those weeks were filled with love, hope, and heartbreak. Before he passed, Paul told me I was strong enough to get through this, and I hold on to that every day. He also made me promise that he’d never be forgotten, and I never will forget him.
Grief is heavy. Some days it feels impossible, and others, I can almost feel him beside me, cheering me on. After the funeral came the endless “death admin". The letters, bills, forms were all reminders of what I’d lost. The post became something I dreaded.
I missed the handwritten notes Paul used to leave me, the cards filled with love and thoughtfulness. I longed for that kind of connection again.
So I reached out and found a pen pal, someone who had also lost her person. Through our letters, I found comfort, understanding, and friendship. That’s when I realised others might need this too.
That’s how Letters After Loss began. A space to build friendships, one letter at a time.
If you’re longing for connection, understanding, and a gentle way to heal, I’d love for you to join us. Click below to start writing your first letter today.
GOT A QUESTION?
Who will I get matched with?
When you sign up, you’ll answer a few simple questions about yourself. Using your answers, we carefully match you with someone who shares similar interests and experiences, so your letter exchange feels natural and meaningful from the start.
What if my match isn't quite the right fit?
We do our best to pair you with someone you'll connect with, but sometimes it takes a couple of tries to find the right fit. If you feel your first match isn’t quite right, just let us know and we’ll happily rematch you with someone new.
How are pen pals matched?
While we’re all here because of loss, each of us is at a different stage in our journey. We take great care to match you with someone who feels like a good fit, often someone at a similar point in their grief. Using the information you share when you sign up, we’ll pair you with someone who has similar interests, values, or ways of expressing themselves, so your first letters feel comfortable and genuine.
What if my pen pal stops writing?
If your pen pal stops writing, we’ll gently reach out to find out what’s happened. In the meantime, someone from our team will step in to write to you each month, so you’ll continue to receive letters and feel supported. We’ll either find you a new match or reconnect you with your original pen pal if they’re ready to write again.
How often do I have to write?
We ask that you commit to writing once a month.
How do you keep my address safe?
Your privacy is really important to us. When you sign up, you’ll be given a unique ID number for yourself and your pen pal. All letters are sent through our head office, where we match the ID numbers with the correct addresses. This means your personal address is never shared directly with your pen pal.
I don't know what to write about.
Don’t worry, you’re not alone in feeling that way. Each month, along with your letter from your pen pal, you’ll also receive a newsletter from us filled with ideas, monthly themes, and plenty of inspiration to help your words flow.
I can't get to a postbox, can I send an email instead.
I’m afraid not. Letters After Loss is all about the comfort and connection that comes from receiving a handwritten note in the post. Each letter is written and sent by hand, creating something truly personal and meaningful to hold onto.
I'm not technically a 'widow' can I still join?
Absolutely. Letters After Loss is for women who have lost a spouse or life partner, whether you were married or not. I’m not technically a widow either, so please know you’re very welcome here.
What is Letters After Loss?
Letters After Loss is a space for connection and companionship. It’s a place for those who have lost a partner to feel seen, supported, and remembered. Through handwritten letters and monthly activities, we create moments of human connection that remind us we’re not alone, even in our grief.
What is Letters After Loss not
Letters After Loss isn’t counselling or crisis support, and there’s never any expectation to share traumatic experiences. It’s a space for connection through handwritten letters, not a place for therapy. Clear guidelines are in place to protect and support everyone who takes part.
What if I want to cancel?
I completely understand that circumstances can change. There’s no cancellation fee, and you’re free to cancel at any time. Simply send an email to [email protected] so I can sort it all out for you. All I ask is for one month’s notice so I can find a new match for your pen pal.
How is my information kept private?
Your pen pal will only receive the details you choose to share. All personal addresses are kept private, and for your safety, we strongly recommend not sharing them. When you join, you’ll receive a welcome guide with helpful do’s and don’ts to keep your correspondence safe and comfortable.
While we can’t vet every member, we encourage you to use your best judgement. If you ever feel uncomfortable or are asked to share information you’d rather keep private, please let us know straight away so we can take appropriate action.
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