25. 5 Things to Do in the Summer After Loss

The first summer after loss can feel like walking through a haze of grief. I’m not entirely sure how we all survived it, but somehow, we did. This summer will be my second, and feeling unsure how I would manage, I reached out to a Facebook group for widows in the UK and asked for their tips.

Summer used to mean endless possibilities. Travel plans, late-night walks on the beach, sitting outside talking for hours about everything and nothing. All of it shared with my favourite person. But when your person isn’t there, it’s hard to know how to survive a summer carrying loss.

What became clear from the responses is that it doesn’t matter whether it’s your first summer or your tenth, when you’re grieving, the seasons hit differently.

Here are five pieces of advice that helped me, and might help you too, as you navigate the summer after loss.

1. Take Small Steps, Not Big Plans

Many women said they don’t plan anything big, just small things to get through the day. It might be reading a book in the garden or enjoying a cup of coffee with friends. These small, manageable moments bring comfort rather than obligation.

During summer, there’s often an expectation that everyone should be happy. And while sunshine can lift our mood, no amount of Vitamin D can heal a heart that’s grieving. Small is not inadequate. Small is brave.

2. Spend Time in Nature

I’m a huge advocate for spending time outdoors. I can feel the difference in my outlook after a walk in open countryside compared to a day spent alone at home. Nature doesn’t ask anything from you. It simply holds space for whatever you’re feeling.

Sometimes I don’t see another soul on my walks, which means I avoid those pangs of envy that can come when I see couples or families together.

Another suggestion that came up was solo camping. When my children were younger, I often took them camping. Paul loved the outdoors, but camping wasn’t really his thing, so I became quite used to putting up a tent on my own. It’s an inexpensive way to take a break from the daily exhaustion of grief, while still being surrounded by familiar comforts.

Grief doesn’t take a holiday, but sometimes nature gives us a moment of peace.

3. Spend Time with Your Support Network

Grief teaches us that people show up in different ways. Some will check in regularly, others will quietly hold space in the background, and some will disappear completely after the funeral.

You know who your safe people are. This summer, make plans with them - a day out, a coffee, or even just a phone call. Grief is heavy, so you don’t need elaborate plans. If all you can manage is a short chat, that’s enough.

The people who truly care won’t take it personally if you cancel or need more time. They’ll show up anyway, unconditionally.

4. Rekindle Your Motivation to Travel

If travelling used to fill you with excitement but now feels different, you’re not alone. I used to call Paul the best travel buddy anyone could have. Travelling after loss is a new experience. You’re suddenly responsible for everything - the passports, the timings, the plans. And that can feel overwhelming.

When you arrive, you’re reminded that the memories you’re making are now yours alone. One small ritual that helps me is buying a postcard for Paul and writing to him about the trip. I’m still waiting to find a postbox that delivers to heaven.

5. Find Connection Through Shared Understanding

The hardest part can be seeing others share their summer holidays, smiling in photos or chatting about their plans. You wouldn’t wish them to feel your pain, but it still stings.

That’s why connecting with people who truly understand is so important. When I reached out to a Facebook group, I didn’t know how to manage the emotions that summer brings. One woman wrote, “Somehow we will make it through this.” And she’s right, we do, especially when we do it together.

That’s why I created Letters After Loss, a space where women connect through handwritten letters. It’s not about fixing grief, but about being seen and understood.

This summer, I’m hosting a writing workshop where you’ll write a letter to another widow and receive one in return. It’s a small act of connection that reminds you that you’re not alone.

The truth is, there’s no easy way to move through summer after loss. The sunshine can feel too bright, the laughter too loud, and the days too long. But somehow, we will make it through, especially when we do it together.

That’s why I created Letters After Loss, a space where women can connect through handwritten letters, sharing warmth, understanding, and kindness. This summer, I’m hosting a gentle writing workshop where you’ll write a letter to another widow and receive one in return. It’s a small act of connection that reminds you that you’re not alone.

If this summer feels heavy, come and join us. The workshop costs just £3.95 to cover postage, and it’s open to any woman in the UK who has lost her spouse or partner. You can sign up below and spend a Sunday morning surrounded by people who truly understand.