How to Honour a Loved One Who Has Passed Away: 5 Meaningful Ways to Keep Their Memory Alive

Losing the person you love changes everything. The world keeps moving, and you’d do anything to go back and spend a few more minutes with them. You want to keep their memory alive, but sometimes you’re not sure how. Should you do something big and public, or something quiet and personal? The truth is, there’s no right or wrong way to honour a loved one who has passed away, only what feels right for you.

In this post, we’ll explore some meaningful ways to celebrate a loved one’s life, keep their memory close, and find comfort in the process. You’ll discover simple ideas that can bring peace, connection, and even a little light back into your days, including healing through writing after loss.

If you’d love to connect with other women who truly understand this journey, join Letters After Loss, our pen pal membership for widows. It’s a safe, supportive space to share stories, write healing letters, and honour your loved one’s memory.

Why Honouring a Loved One Matters

My late partner Paul was a huge Arsenal fan. At his funeral, everyone wore something red to honour his passion for his team. Even the Tottenham fans amongst the congregation forced themselves to wear red (for any non-football fans here, Tottenham and Arsenal dislike each other immensely).

Arsenal have just won the Premier League, which meant there were massive celebrations going on all over the country. Paul undoubtedly would have been screaming and running around the garden at this, whilst I would have looked on and rolled my eyes at him.

I know nothing about football. I couldn’t even tell you how many players make up a team or who the manager is. But this win would have been huge for Paul. Therefore, it was huge for me.

When the team said they would put on a parade in London on Sunday 31st May, I knew that I had to go. My son is a huge Arsenal fan, so he was happy with my decision and wanted to come along too.

The day was amazing and very emotional. I sent my son a selfie on the train wearing my Arsenal top that he bought for me, and it suddenly hit me that it should have been Paul who was sending the selfies. He should have been going to London to meet my son. He should be here.

Instead, it was me going, not because I love football, but because I love Paul. I want to honour him as best I can, and I am sure that he was with me throughout that day and got to see everything that I saw.

You don’t need to head to London and watch the Arsenal parade to honour their legacy. There are many other meaningful ways to keep their memory alive.

5 Meaningful Ways to Honour Someone Who Has Passed Away

1. Create a Playlist of Their Favourite Music

I was asked to go on a radio show to talk about life as a widow — you can read more about it here >>>When I Went On The Radio Along with stories of Paul, they wanted me to share 10 songs. They didn’t specify for them to be about him, but I chose to create a playlist that represented the past, the present, and the future.

There was something so cathartic about doing this exercise, and I’ve included it in the Grief Workbook that you can download here >>> Small Steps Through Big Grief

2. Write to Them

Shortly after Paul passed away, I started writing letters to someone who has passed away - to him. I needed to find a personal way to connect with him. I felt that everyone needed a piece of me - the funeral directors, family, friends - and the one person I needed was Paul. So I wrote letters to him.

I then wrote his memoirs as I began panicking that all the memories we created were disappearing, Every holiday I always buy and write a postcard for him too. Writing has become my way of healing through writing after loss. And now I write letters to other widows and share stories about Paul.

3. Share Their Story

Talk about them wherever and whenever you can. If you follow me on TikTok or Facebook, you’ll see I am constantly talking about Paul. I’m sure my followers know more about him than some friends do!

By sharing stories, it keeps their story alive, and once you start sharing, you’ll quickly find new memories get remembered. Because I felt their stories are so important and need to be shared, I started Letters After Loss. It’s a pen pal membership for women who have lost a partner or spouse, and it provides the perfect place to write about them and share those stories with someone who genuinely wants to hear about them.

If you want to share your person’s stories, then why not sign up here >>> Join the membership

4. Cook Their Favourite Meal

Paul loved a Sunday roast and had perfected the skill extremely well. The first time I tried to cook one after he died, it turned out to be an absolute disaster. I messaged his sister and was distraught that we would never have a Sunday roast cooked by Paul again.

But I persevered, and they’re still not up to Paul’s standard, but I am getting better. It’s not necessarily because I love a Sunday roast that I continue to do them, it’s because he did them every week, and now when I cook them, I always think of him. I bring out the condiments that he would have, and it brings back lovely memories.

5. Love Yourself as Much as They Loved You

I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions, but I did make this one on 31st December 2025: love myself as much as he loved me. It’s not just about loving yourself, it’s about being kind to yourself too.

There are days when I forget that I can say ‘no’, and I have to remember what he would want me to do. There are days when all I can do is sit on the sofa and cry, and he would say that is ok. He would always protect me and have my best interests at heart. It is now my turn to be that version of him too.

If you’re being hard on yourself, judging yourself for not grieving the ‘right’ way, then give yourself permission to take a step back and remember what they would say to you if they were sat next to you. Listen to those words, not the ones in your head.

FAQ: Honouring a Loved One After Loss

1. How soon should I start honouring my loved one?
There’s no timeline. Some people find comfort in rituals right away, others need time. Do what feels right for you.

2. What if I feel guilty celebrating their life?
That’s completely normal. Remember, celebrating doesn’t mean forgetting - it’s a way to keep their love alive.

3. Can I honour them privately?
Absolutely. Some of the most meaningful tributes are quiet and personal.

4. How can writing help me heal?
Writing letters or journaling can help you process emotions and feel connected to your loved one.